


Brave Love

by angelichl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Boys Kissing, Chocolate, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Friends to Lovers, Hugs, Lingerie, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Roommates, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 21:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17732903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelichl/pseuds/angelichl
Summary: Harry breaks up with his boyfriend a day before Valentine's Day and Louis tries to cheer him up.





	Brave Love

**Author's Note:**

> CW: mentions of Harry's ex-boyfriend who cheated on him.
> 
> If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!

 

 

 

♡

 

_ Brave love, _ __  
__ come, lean to my wound; burn on, burn on.   
—Sylvia Plath, “Firesong”

 

♡

 

The first thing Louis noticed upon entering their apartment was that it was pinker than usual.

He stared at a chain of paper hearts lining the wall as he kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket in the general direction of the closet. The hearts looked handmade, because of course, what else would he expect when his roommate was Harry Styles?

Walking in further was like diving into an explosion of cheesy, romantic decorations colored in varying shades of pink and red. There was a lot of glitter. It wasn’t exactly Louis’ style but he could still admit it looked pretty.

“Harry,” Louis called out, because he knew he was home by the keys in the little ceramic dish by the door. It was the one Harry made in a poetry class for the specific purpose of decreasing the amount of times Louis lost his keys to the apartment and had to call him to let him in. He was a little disorganized which meant Harry was his better half in the way that he kept everything tidy and orderly. “Did you…  _ decorate _ for Valentine’s Day?”

Louis didn’t see him in the living room or the kitchen, but the place was small enough that he knew Harry heard him, wherever he was.

“I mean, it’s pretty and everything, but, like… why.”

There was a huff of indignance behind him. Louis turned around to see him standing in the dark hallway that led to their bedrooms.

“Why not?” he countered, crossing his arms over his torso. “I like it.”

Louis squinted at him, unsure. It was typical teasing but his voice sounded off.

“Is everything okay?”

Harry shrugged, tucking his chin to his chest and brushing past Louis to head into the living room. Louis watched him sit down on the couch and turn the TV on, flipping through channels without any change in affect. His arms were still wrapped around his stomach, bare feet on the coffee table.

“Do you have a cold?” Louis wondered, taking in the paleness of his face and the splotchy red that discolored it. The puffiness around his eyes, too. And- oh. Louis was over by his side before he could think about it. After years of experience, he knew what his best friend looked like after crying. They had been through it all before: sappy movies, stressful workdays, family emergencies, and even just feeling like shit for no reason at all. “Harry, what happened?”

“Nothing,” he muttered, sounding vaguely bitter. He dragged his palms down his face and rubbed at his red-rimmed eyes. When he pulled his hands away, uncovering his face, his gaze shifted to a spot on the floor. “I broke up with David.”

“Oh.” That made much more sense than whatever bad thing Louis was thinking happened to him, but it wasn’t at all what he was expecting. He leaned into the cushion  with his body turned toward his friend and put his arm over the back of the couch. He wanted to move closer to comfort him but wasn’t sure if the close proximity would be helpful or harmful. “I’m sorry, H, that’s really tough.”

Harry and David had been dating since the end of summer, and since it was February… that meant they had been together for almost six months. Half a year. That was a fairly long time, but by no means the longest relationship Harry had ever been in. He was one of those people who always had a steady, serious boyfriend. No funny business with him. This was one of Louis’ biggest woes.

“Wanna talk about it?”

It was strange that Harry looked as if he had been sobbing all day, when he was the one who broke up with David and not the other way around. Although, Louis figured either position, the one to break up or the one to be broken up with, was emotionally draining. Still, it was also strange that he would break up a relationship on Valentine’s Day eve, especially when he had already decorated the apartment in preparation for David coming over the next day.

Louis cringed at the thought. He felt an unfair sort of sudden relief that he wouldn’t have to leave the apartment tomorrow night so Harry could have sexy times with his boyfriend.

“I found out-” he paused to rub at his eyes again, a little too harsh for Louis’ liking. Harry did that sometimes, punished himself in stupid ways because he thought he deserved it. He exhaled and laughed a little bit but there was only coldness in the sound, and a certain waver that indicated another round of crying soon to come. “I found out he has a wife.”

It took a second to sink in. “Wait, what?” He wasn’t quick enough to filter the horror from his voice.

“He’s been married for three years. Her name is Juliette and she seems like a lovely woman.”

“Oh.” Louis was baffled. David was a bit older than Harry, somewhere in the five to ten year range but Louis wasn’t really sure. He always liked older men, at least that’s what Louis gathered from his past relationships. “How’d you find out?”

“It was so stupid. She was at the diner with a big group for lunch. Showing each other pictures and talking about their plans with their husbands tomorrow. Because they’re all married. I saw the pictures and heard her say his name, obviously.”

Harry had worked at the diner ever since his first year of college, and he stuck with it all these years even though he usually hated it. He was a great server and people loved him for his pretty face and charismatic personality so he made more tips than the average person, which he confessed was the reason why he hadn’t quit yet.

Louis enjoyed visiting Harry at work. Over the years he secretly memorized which tables to sit at so that Harry would be his server, since each server had an assigned region of the dining area. Sometimes when there was a lull in the typical crowd of people, Harry would sit down at his table and share a pot of coffee with him, telling him stories of crazy things that happened while he was working.

“Oh Harry,” Louis breathed, feeling really bad for him. He knew how much Harry liked David, even if things had been going to shit lately. Seeing as they were best friends, Harry would often confide in him and divulge the complications of his relationship with David. Only two weeks ago, when they had a little too much wine at dinner and ended up lying on the kitchen floor staring up at the ceiling, Harry admitted he felt that their relationship was slowly falling apart. The moments of fighting were becoming more frequent than the moments of being in love.

“Yeah. I confronted him about it and he tried to hide it but I’m not stupid like he thinks I am, apparently. So he confessed.”

“That’s really shitty. I’m sorry.” It still hadn’t fully sunk in yet. The more Louis thought about it, the angrier he got. He could just imagine the asshole going home to his wife and trying to figure out how to split the day between her and Harry tomorrow. What a two-timing scumbag. Meanwhile Harry was planning an elaborate surprise for him to revive their wilting relationship.

Harry shrugged again but obviously it was affecting him more than he let on. “I’m just pissed because I was his side hoe and I didn’t even know it,” he laughed sarcastically, a bad attempt at a joke, given the situation. “And I have to figure out how to tell Juliette. Which means I’m breaking up a marriage, and that’s a fucking shitty thing to do. That’s a real fucking shitty thing to do.”

Louis dragged him into a hug, resting his cheek on his shoulder. He squeezed tightly enough that he could feel Harry’s heartbeat against his own. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

Harry sniffled, curling his body into Louis’. “I just feel so fucking naive.”

He wasn’t sure what to say that would actually help so he just stayed quiet, rubbing his back in circles in a way he hoped made him feel better. He eyed the string of letters that spelling  _ Happy Valentine’s Day! _ Hanging above the mantel and wondered if he should take it down so Harry wasn’t reminded of what happened. Tomorrow was going to be difficult, with all the images of love and romance thrown in his face.

“Is there anything I can do to help? I mean, if you wanna talk about it more, or you want a distraction, or-”

“It’s okay Lou, I already feel better.” He smiled weakly to prove his point, but it was more of a forced grimace than anything. “You’re such a good friend.”

And, okay. It was a compliment but the reminder of their  _ friendship _ also made Louis ache. He pushed the feelings away because it was dumb to focus on his own dejection when Harry was clearly going through something way worse. Besides, it was an honor to be his best friend and Louis wasn’t going to complain about the title.

“Do you want to take a bath?” There was a quiet pause and then Louis thought better of it. “I’m gonna draw you a bath,” he decided, not waiting for an answer. Comforting people wasn’t his strong suit, he didn’t think, but he knew Harry so inherently, the task seemed easier.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to do that-”

“No, no, seriously. Just relax here. I’ll come get you when it’s ready.”

Harry smiled up at him with watery eyes and Louis resisted the urge to ruffle his hair. Or kiss his forehead. Or do something even worse like admit to his crush on him just to show he was loved. Because Harry always deserved to feel loved.

Louis turned quickly on his heel and nearly ran to the bathroom. Sometimes being around him made it hard to think or even to breathe, he felt so strongly about him. He focused on filling the bath to distract himself from his thoughts.

The bathtub had been a huge selling point for Harry when they were looking for an apartment together, years ago. Louis had been indifferent about it because who even took baths anymore, anyway, when showers were so much easier? In his opinion, baths were more trouble than they were worth. Harry disagreed. They ended up in with the nice bathtub even though the apartment was smaller than the other ones and more expensive. So Louis had a hard time saying no to Harry. Sue him.

He dug around in the cabinet beneath the sink because he knew there was bubble bath in there somewhere. Aha! Right in the very back behind the millions of other toiletries Harry stored in there. He went through these phases where he would become obsessed with self-care and buy all of these different lotions and soaps, usually after a breakup.

The bubble bath made the room smell like jasmine when Louis poured it in. He probably used too much judging the amount of bubbles that formed, but what did he know? He swirled his hand around in the water to make sure it was the right temperature, a little on the hotter side because it would cool down as time passed and he didn’t want Harry to be sitting in cold water.

He found his speaker and connected his phone to it through bluetooth, searching through YouTube for some of the relaxing meditation music Harry liked to listen to when he’s stressed and/or upset. There was a two-hour-long video with wind charms and Spanish guitar. Louis had no idea what he was doing but it sounded nice so he went with it. If Harry found it annoying, Louis would just turn it off for him.

He went back to retrieve him and wasn’t very surprised to find him crying again. Politely, he ignored the shimmery tears for Harry’s sake because he tried to wipe them away when he saw Louis enter the room. He looked so sad and undone in a way he had never looked before.

“All ready, H,” Louis said softly. He took his hand and led him to the bathroom because he worried Harry wouldn’t go otherwise.

The corners of his lips quirked upwards when he saw the bubbles and heard the music. He turned back to hug Louis in thanks. When he pressed close, his tears wet Louis’ skin.

“I love you a lot,” Harry sighed into his neck, a bit sleepy and sad, jaded from what must’ve been an awful day. “You’re so good to me.”

“Love you too. Call for me if you need anything,” Louis instructed, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. He would’ve waited for Harry to let go of the hug first, but butterflies were fluttering in his belly and it was better to detach sooner rather than later.

With one last pat on Harry’s shoulder, Louis left and closed the door partially behind him, enough so that he could hear if Harry needed anything. Retreating to his own bedroom to flop face first on his mattress and muffle a scream in his pillow was the safest thing to do in that moment.

He felt bad for feeling slightly excited that Harry was single again but he couldn’t help it. The heart wanted what it fucking wanted and Louis’ heart had decided years ago that it wanted Harry. How stupid and unfortunate.

 

♡

 

They ended up at a twenty-four hour diner for a late night dinner. Niall had been called in for assistance to cheer up Harry. The diner wasn’t the same as the one where Harry worked, because he couldn’t stand to eat there after serving impatient customers all day and having to brave their rudeness with a strained smile.

It was designed with a 1950’s retro aesthetic in mind so the floors were black-and-white checkered and the booths were made with shiny vinyl covers. It was fairly busy for a Wednesday night at 10:00 PM and they had to wait for a table. Louis caught Harry staring at the arcade game full of stuffed animals to pick up with the claw and it gave him an idea but he didn’t say anything about it because a table just opened up and the hostess was leading them to it.

Niall and Louis sat down across from Harry. Even though Louis wanted to be close to him, he didn’t want it to be awkward.

On the bright side, he enjoyed being able to stare at Harry without it being weird. The way they were sitting made that possible. He could look across the table and appreciate his dark curls which were still slightly damp from the bath, and the way his skin was extra pretty. Crying tended to do that to him, made his skin glow like an angel’s, which was so unfair because whenever Louis cried he always ended up looking like he was on his deathbed.

He was wearing his “breakup clothes” as Louis privately referred to them. Most people, after breaking up with their significant other, tended to dress down and wear baggy sweats for the sake of physical comfort.

Harry was the opposite. Breakups tended to motivate him to pull his life together, somehow. He always dressed the best for the few occasional days he was single. No hoodies or sweatpants; instead, skinny jeans or flowy dress pants and pretty designer blouses. And he always wore fucking loafers. Louis would’ve thought they were ugly but Harry loved them so much, Louis had no choice but to love them too.

“Order anything you want, Haz, it’s on us,” Niall told him, and Louis nodded enthusiastically in agreement. He knew how Harry liked the mint chocolate chip milkshakes here, and if he didn’t order one for himself Louis would get him one.

“Thanks, guys,” Harry sniffed, scanning the menu and using his fingernails to play with the plastic covering. “You’re eating too, right? I don’t wanna be the only one eating.”

Louis shrugged, patting his tummy. He already ate dinner and he was pretty sure Niall did too; the reason they came here was because Harry hadn’t. “Eh, a second dinner won’t hurt, right Nialler?”

Niall shrugged too. “I’m game. Their fries here are so good.”

“See, Harry, this is another plus of being single. You can eat second dinners and not worry about  _ maintaining your figure _ ,” he joked, twirling his straw in his cup. It was kind of his signature attribute, being single, so when he talked about it he sounded like a guru of unattachment.

“Hey, I have a boyfriend and I eat whatever the fuck I want,” Niall disagreed, frowning at him. He had been dating a guy named Shawn for two years now and Louis was pretty sure one of them was going to propose soon; he made a mental note to ask Niall about that later. He didn’t want to bring it up in front of Harry right now because marriage was a sore subject.

Louis elbowed him in the ribcage and hissed, “Not helping.”

Harry laughed uncomfortably and Louis cringed. He looked down at the bright red table and wouldn’t meet their eyes. “I think I’m done with relationships.”

“Aww, don’t say that. You just haven’t found the right guy yet,” Niall comforted, his gaze shifting to Louis’ nervously. They shared a look of concern for a second.

Being in many relationships over the years meant Harry had been through his fair share of breakups, and yeah, usually he was pretty upset afterwards but he never swore them off or anything. Usually he would just cry for a few hours about how it wasn’t meant to be and then he would start talking about finding someone who actually understood him. Apparently he hadn’t found that person yet. Louis wanted to scream into the void:  _ Pick me! I understand you! Let me love you! _

“Yeah, well, it’s hard not to be cynical when I literally ruined a marriage.”

“That’s not true,” Louis protested, and at the same time Niall said, “You didn’t do anything wrong—he was the one who ruined it.”

“Yeah but I should’ve known. I’d never even been to his house before. How weird is that? Like, that’s a huge warning sign. I’m an idiot.”

“Let’s do without the self-deprecation right now,” Louis suggested gently. He reached across the table to pat Harry’s hand which was trembling enough to be visible.

Harry sighed. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t wanna be such a downer, I just-”

A server came over to their table and Harry snapped his mouth shut. They ordered way too much food for it to be normal but that was okay; they could always take it home.

“Anything else?”

“Oh, and a mint chocolate chip milkshake, please,” Louis added, returning his menu to the server. He grinned when Harry gave him a weird look.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do tomorrow, now. I have all day off and no one to spend it with.”

“You can… hang out with Shawn and I?” Niall offered.

“Fuck off. That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Harry grumbled while Louis cackled at the mental image of Harry third-wheeling Shiall.  _ Been there, done that. Never again, _ Louis thought.

When he regained his breath from laughing, he said, “You can hang out with me, if you want. I only have work for a few hours in the morning, and you can come with me if you’re up for it. I know how much you like the bookstore.”

It was true, Harry often visited when Louis was working, and sometimes he would even help him shelve books or re-alphabetize the authors. He did this all without being paid, and Louis thought he was crazy. Harry reasoned he enjoyed organization.

“I’ll think about it,” Harry waned. “I still have dinner reservations at that stupid fucking restaurant because they won’t let me cancel. And, like, all the other stuff I planned for David. Ugh.”

Niall brightened up at Harry’s words. “Hey, you guys should have dinner together! Don’t let the reservation go to waste, I know how far in advance you had to call just to get it.”

Harry met Louis’ eyes questioningly, looking unsure.

Louis smiled and shrugged. “I’m down if you are. We can get all dressed up and pretend to be one of those posh couples. Or you could propose to me to get our dinner for free. Do you think they’d do that there?”

“I don’t know,” Harry huffed. “You’re ridiculous. But that sounds… fun, I guess.”

“Wow, control your enthusiasm, H. You’re really flattering me here.”

Harry rolled his eyes, but he was biting back a smile. “Alright, I guess I’m in.”

Louis grinned at him, suddenly excited for tomorrow. His original plans of bar-hopping in the evening paled in comparison to spending time with Harry.

In the entire history of his life, he had never, ever been excited for Valentine’s Day. He didn’t necessarily dread it, really, but it was always just another day to him. It was always slightly more annoying than a usual day because everyone except him ran around love-drunk and giddy.

In high school they had the option to send carnations to students and teachers. It wasn’t until senior year that Louis ever got any, which sucked, quite frankly. He hated walking through the halls and seeing everyone else showing off their carnations, either carrying them in their hands or sticking them so they poked out of their bookbags, incredibly visible. It was so showy and stupid. Vain, in Louis’ opinion. His senior year he received two carnations: one from a really nice girl in his physics class and another from a guy who was creepily obsessed with them.

During undergrad it became less important but it was still annoying when a lot of his friends obsessed over their plans with their partners. Harry was always one of them. Louis wondered if he had ever spent a Valentine’s Day alone. Tomorrow might be the first.

When their food arrived, Harry picked at his fries until Niall and Louis shrieked at him to eat. The conversation changed and they stayed far away from the topic of romance. It was fun and within the next hour they had all laughed so hard their stomachs hurt.

The server brought out the milkshake, which Louis had forgotten about, once they were done with most of their food. Louis pushed it to Harry and said, “We’re not leaving until you drink all of that.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, sheepish and shy. He picked the cherry off the whipped cream on top and offered it to Louis, sticky and bright red against his fingers, because he remembered he liked them.

“Oh, thank you.” Louis popped it in his mouth as Niall went back to his rant on contemporary politics and social media. Niall’s political rants were the best to listen to because they were so intelligent and funny. Harry nodded along and laughed in between sips of the milkshake which was a pretty mint green color. Louis laughed too but mostly he watched Harry, because he looked beautiful even when he was sad.

A couple hours later, around one o’clock in the morning, they stood in line at the counter to pay for their meal. While they were waiting, they messed around with the arcade games and vending machines that dispensed cheap toys. Louis entered a quarter into one of them and got a bright blue plastic ring in return. It was in the shape of a star.

Harry had a handful of m&m’s and a tiny squishy octopus figurine. Louis gave him the plastic ring just to see him smile.

 

♡

 

Harry went to work with Louis the next day. It was strange because they’d never done this before. Sure, sometimes he would drop by to say hi and help him organize the shelves or watch Louis read to a group of little kids, but he had never actually stayed for his entire shift from start to finish.

They walked together because the bookstore was just down the street from their apartment. Almost all the storefronts they passed were decorated for Valentine’s Day, much like their apartment. There were flowers and chocolates and various types of jewelry being advertised. Louis wondered what Harry thought of it and if it made him sad. If it made him feel like something was missing, like it did with Louis.

Harry still seemed a little down which was to be expected. They stayed up into the early hours of the morning, curled up on the couch, discussing how Harry could possibly break the news to Juliette that her husband was a scumbag cheat and a liar. Before going to bed they hugged for a long time and Harry cried about how lucky he felt to have Louis as a friend. A kind, supportive friend.

Louis was sick of being friendzoned. He hated the term because people tended to use it when they were ignoring the signs of someone politely denying them, but in this case it was exactly what was happening. He knew it was unintentional and that Harry probably had no idea Louis had a huge ass crush on him, but still, it was getting to him.

Louis loved being Harry’s best friend. It was a privilege. It was an honor. It was something special, something he cherished. But it also meant being up close and personal with all of Harry’s intensely loving relationships, the ones Harry threw himself into wholeheartedly. It made Louis ache to witness how much and how strongly Harry loved.

He was like that with everything. So, so passionate. Perhaps it was the main reason why Louis was obsessed with him in a way he shouldn’t be obsessed with a friend. But he just couldn’t help it. No matter how hard he tried to get over it, to get over him, it never happened. It never worked.

Louis was destined to be single forever. He had turned that declaration into a joke with his friends who knew him as a serial sleeper or whatever label they wanted to give him for only having one-night stands and never actually trying a relationship. He hadn’t been in a real relationship since high school and that hardly counted as real at all. Harry made fun of him for this exact reason a million times and Louis always laughed it off as if he didn’t want an actual relationship.

Singleness was fun and liberating but it had become old to Louis a long time ago. He was a hopeless romantic and he always loved the idea of falling in love and spending the rest of his life with someone. He would be such a good boyfriend, and someday a good husband, if only he could find someone who made him feel the same enthusiasm and love he felt when he was with Harry. But everyone else paled in comparison.

The point was, Harry was sad in the morning and Louis didn’t know how to fix it. Harry was no longer wearing his “breakup clothes.” He was wearing normal-people breakup clothes. Joggers and a big gray hoodie that swallowed him right up. A beanie too. His eyes were tired, with darkness beneath them which looked like bruises. He smelled like lavender. Louis looked it up once and learned that the scent of lavender was used to mitigate feelings of sadness.

That was how Louis knew this breakup was different. There was no resilience, no optimism. Usually Harry would be bubbling about meeting someone new and falling in love again. But he was only quiet.

After they entered the bookstore and Louis clocked in for his shift, Harry curled up on an armchair by the window and closed his eyes. Louis wanted to go over there and cheer him up but he figured Harry needed some space, not to mention some peace and quiet. Bookstores were good for that. So Louis turned away from him and busied himself by putting the new arrivals in their rightful destinations.

It wasn’t until the last hour of Louis’ shift that Harry came over to help him.

“I’m done being sad,” he announced loftily, taking the book from Louis’ hands and placing it where Louis was struggling to reach on the top shelf. Louis realized Harry  was still wearing the ring he gave him last night, among all of the other rings he rarely removed. The blue plastic stood out against the rest. He wore it on his pinky because it was a child’s ring and too small to fit on any other finger.

“Thanks,” Louis muttered, kind of peeved whenever Harry showed off how the few inches of height difference between them actually made a difference, even though Louis claimed it didn’t. “And that’s good, I’m glad.”

“What’re we doing after this?”

“Whatever you want. This is unofficial Celebrate Harry Day, remember? We decided that last night.”

“Right.” Harry looked over at Louis with a resolute expression on his face, but it slipped into a smirk. “Well, I wanna do the things I planned to do with David. Some of them, I mean. The applicable ones.”

“Like?”

“Movie, dinner, theater. Maybe dessert if we’re feeling crazy.”

“Which movie?”

“I dunno, we were just gonna make out and mess around in the back row so it didn’t matter. Is there one you want to see?”

Louis squinted at the book in his hand. As hard as he tried to focus on reading the title, he couldn’t get past the thought of David’s hands all over Harry in the back of a movie theater. Gross.

“Eh, we should just go to a random one. Spontaneity and all that. Or maybe something scary. Like a horror movie.”

“You hate horror movies.” He was right.

“Whatever. Like I said, it’s Harry Day. You call the shots.”

“Cool.”

Louis shrugged and went back to shelving books. To be honest, he thought Harry’s agenda was kind of boring, but that was probably because most of his original plans involved sexy times which obviously didn’t apply here. He kind of wondered about the extent of Harry’s Valentine’s Day schedule, wondered what would be in store for him if he were Harry’s boyfriend instead of stupid fucking David who mucked it up by being  _ married _ . What an idiot.

It was stupid of Louis to let his mind wander down that rabbit hole because it never ended well. Mostly it just made him sad. And besides, he knew it was wrong to think about his best friend dressing up in elaborate lingerie all for him. Yeah, that was really not okay.

“Lou, are you alright?”

“Wha- Oh.” He realized he had been holding a handful of books for at least two minutes, just staring down at them and not making any move to put them away. He used the corner of one to poke Harry in the tummy before getting back to work. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

♡

 

Louis was right about his prediction that Harry’s Valentine’s Day plans, sans sexy stuff, would be boring.

The movie they chose was bad and quite frankly Louis didn’t care to even think about it. He didn’t even see the end because he fell asleep halfway through and woke up when the lights had been switched on and a worker from the movie theater nudged him in the chest with the end of a broom—because Harry had fallen asleep too.

“H, wake up,” he mumbled, shaking his arm.

“What the fuck?” he slurred, rubbing his eyes.

“We fell asleep. We should get up so he can clean up all the popcorn you spilled.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” Harry told the worker, who looked less than happy to be here right now.

Louis dragged Harry out of the empty movie theater. The hallways outside were confusing and maze-like and they wandered around for a while before finding an exit. The first few steps outside in the daylight were disorienting.

“God, that was awful.”

Louis burst out laughing. He grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him down the street, toward their apartment so they could get ready for the rest of their night. “Let’s hope this fancy dinner is more fun than that.”

With the location of their dinner, Louis had no choice but to dress up. He usually didn’t mind dressing up but when it was for a pretentious restaurant, he felt the rebellious urge to go in his pajamas. Which obviously wouldn’t go over very well. The flipside to fulfilling the dress code meant he got to see Harry all dressed up, looking as gorgeous as ever.

By the time they were both ready to leave, they were running a bit late. It took Louis a long time to get his hair to look like what he wanted it to look like. Harry was even worse, standing incredibly close to the mirror and inspecting his eyelashes.

“Do you think they’re getting longer?”

“Huh?”

“My eyelashes. I’ve been putting serum on them. Do they look longer?” He stood very close to Louis and let his eyelids flutter shut. “I can’t tell.”

Louis inspected them closely. His eyelashes looked beautiful but Louis thought they always looked beautiful. He hummed, pretending to contemplate, but took the opportunity to take in as many features of Harry’s face as he could. It was rare that he was allowed to be this close and he was going to savor it. That was a creepy thought but Louis was too far gone to care.

“Lou?”

He went for nonchalance. “I think so. They look nice.”

Harry’s eyes flashed open and he grinned. They were standing very close together, enough so that Louis had to tilt his head back to look into his eyes. Curse those three inches Harry had on him; they were the bane of Louis’ existence.

“Thanks,” Harry chirped, his breath fanning out, minty and sweet because he almost constantly chewed gum. It made him look like an asshole but there was something about it that Louis found infuriatingly attractive.

Louis pulled away. He had just remembered something. “Wait here for a sec, yeah? I’ll be right back.”

Harry squinted at him but didn’t question it. Meanwhile Louis hustled back to his bedroom.

Okay, so this was stupid. Really stupid. He had no excuse to buy any of this except that he didn’t want to see his friend so sad. Which was why he got up early this morning to go to the store, and… yeah.

Louis returned with the items behind his back. There was no way to wrap either of them. Confidence was a choice so he decided to be confident instead of awkward about this.

“Hey, I have something for you,” he grinned, though his heart was threatening to explode.

Harry stared with wide eyes before accepting the bouquet of roses in Louis’ hand. “For me?” he breathed, eyes flickering from Louis’ face to the flowers and back again.

“Yeah. Figured it wouldn’t actually be Valentine’s Day if someone didn’t buy you flowers, so.”

“They’re so pretty,” he gushed, even though they were just standard red roses, a cliche. “Thank you.”

“And one more thing.” Louis pulled the bear from out behind his back. He felt a bit more embarrassed about this one because he had never bought a stuffed animal for someone before and it seemed incredibly cheesy. But its face was so cute, he couldn’t resist. And the idea of a stuffed animal seemed comforting.

“Oh my god,” Harry breathed, laughing and wiping at his eyes. Was he… crying? Louis didn’t have any time to figure it out because then Harry was hugging him, squishing the teddy bear between their chests and wrapping his arms around Louis’ back, one hand still on the flowers. “You’re so thoughtful and amazing. I don’t deserve you.”

Louis swallowed thickly and patted his friend’s back. He had been expecting a weird look and maybe a quiet thank-you but definitely not this.

“We’re gonna be late for our reservation,” he reminded gently after they had been standing there for a while with Harry clinging to him like an octopus.

“I don’t care,” Harry declared, and clung harder. But then a moment later he detached enough to kiss Louis’ cheek and then pull away. “Let me find a vase for these first.”

Louis watched him head to the kitchen and dig around in the cupboards until he found a suitable vase, filling it with water and mixing in the little packet of flower food, which Louis had learned after reading the label was mostly just sugar.

“Okay, all good. I’m bringing this with me, by the way, and you can’t stop me.” He emphasized his statement by hugging the bear to his chest.

Louis shrugged and led the way out the door. He was so relieved that went over well.

 

♡

 

They got quite a few judgemental looks at the restaurant but Harry refused to ditch the bear. It made Louis feel warm inside, not to mention strangely proud, that Harry liked it so much he didn’t want to leave it in the car.

The hostess asked if they wanted an extra chair for their “friend” in a tone of voice that was laced with poorly-veiled sarcasm and insult. Harry glared at her and responded with a terse but polite, “No, thank you.”

The food was good but the portion sizes were ridiculously small. Definitely not worth the exorbitant prices. And the candle in the center of the table wasn’t even lit.

“Lou, no-” Harry was trying to stop him from whipping out his lighter in the middle of such a fancy establishment.

Louis didn’t listen to him and pulled it out anyway, using the little flame to light the candle. The small, warm glow made all the difference; suddenly it actually felt ambient. “There. I know you like it so don’t even try to yell at me.”

Harry giggled and rested his chin on his palm, staring across the table at Louis. “So, tell me about yourself,” he joked, as if they were on an awkward first date.

“Shut up,” Louis laughed, kicking his foot under the table.

Harry squawked loud enough that almost everyone at the surrounding tables looked over at him. His cheeks immediately turned bright red and he covered his face in his hands. The teddy bear was still sitting on his lap, where it remained for the entire meal. “Oh my god…”

“Now would be a good time for you to propose,” Louis suggested, teasing. “You’ve already made a fool of yourself.”

“You’re insane.”

“C’mon, H, live a little. Be spontaneous.”

“I hate you,” Harry muttered, before setting the bear on his chair and slipping down to one knee.

Louis wasn’t expecting Harry to actually do it, so he felt an equal mix of surprised, pleased, and proud. He gasped loudly in the hopes of catching the attention of some of the people who worked here, and covered his mouth with his palm, eyes wide.

“Louis,” Harry started, and then seemed to backtrack to “Sweetheart.” Then he dove into a ridiculous, incoherent rant about how much he “loved” Louis and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. It turned sillier and sillier as he rambled on in his stupidly slow, deep voice and Louis was in tears trying to keep himself from laughing.

“Sugar Cookie, Pooh Bear, my little grumpy Gummy Bear,” Harry addressed him, the pet names making absolutely no sense. He struggled to come up with another one and hesitated for a long time. “My sweetest snuggliest little… Idaho Spud…”

“What the fuck-”

Harry sucked in a deep breath to cut him off and blurted, “Will you marry me?”

It was surprisingly concise after all the nonsense. Louis nodded behind his hand, aware they had an audience. The tears of laughter hopefully looked sincere from a casual onlooker’s perspective.

Harry grinned manically at him and grabbed his left hand. The realization that he had no ring to give him dawned on them a the same time. Louis gestured frantically at the plastic blue ring on Harry’s pinky, the one from the vending machine last night, but Harry surprised him by removing one of his actual rings.

He slipped the rose ring on Louis’ finger. Louis knew it was his favorite because he talked about it all the time. There was a little caterpillar on the inside, one he’d named Louise, which Louis took as an insult because it was so close to his own name.

Harry pulled him in a hug to seal the deal and kissed his cheek before going back to sit in his own chair. The sound of scattered, half-hearted applause rang through the room and when he looked around he saw most people either looked confused, disgusted, or completely unaware. But the couple at the table right next to theirs looked completely ecstatic. They called the server over and told her what just happened.

“Complimentary champagne to celebrate?”

“That sounds lovely, thank you,” Harry gushed, looking over at Louis as if he were asking for confirmation from his fiance. “And maybe… something sweet?”

The server nodded and departed, and Louis gaped after her. He couldn’t believe that actually worked. When he looked back over at Harry, his expression was morphed between smugness and amusement.

The rose ring felt heavy around Louis’ finger, the metal still warm from Harry’s skin. He was such a schemer. Louis was in love with him.

That was a big thought to have.

“You’re insane,” Louis hissed, but he was grinning too. “Literally no one asked for you to be so over-the-top.”

“It worked, didn’t it?”

“I can’t believe you,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at the ring. Harry just shrugged and resituated the teddy bear on his lap.

A few minutes later, the server returned with expensive champagne and a big slice of chocolate cake decorated with strawberries for them to share. Harry tried to feed him pieces of cake to keep up the act but Louis smacked his hand out of the way and ended up getting chocolate all over the fancy white table cloth.

 

♡

 

Despite the free dessert, Louis was still hungry after dinner. The food was good but the portion sizes were so small. He considered bringing it up with Harry but didn’t want to upset him; going to that specific restaurant was Harry’s idea after all.

“Where to next?” Louis wondered, once they were back outside in the cold.

“Um, there’s a play at the state theater? It’s just down the street.”

“Oh?” Louis hadn’t been to the theater in a long time. He used to go sometimes with his mom when he was younger but hadn’t been since middle school, probably.

“Yeah. I won tickets from a raffle at work. I dunno what it’s called or anything, but I looked it up and it seemed cool I think.”

Louis shrugged and folded his arms over his chest, wishing he had brought a jacket with him. It was the middle of February and he wasn’t even wearing layers.

He looked out, down the street at all the people milling about like normal. Aside from the storefront decorations, the only indication that it was Valentine’s Day was they there were more couples out than usual, holding hands, or hugging, or carrying bouquets of roses. For once Louis was one of them. Kind of. At least outwardly, externally. It was a weird feeling.

He looked back at Harry who was biting his thumbnail. He always did that when he was feeling anxious—Louis knew this because he was Harry’s best friend and best friends knew these things about each other.

Why would he be anxious? Maybe because he thought Louis was going to reject his idea and ditch him. Or say he had his fun and all but he was tired and wanted to go home. Which would then leave Harry here, standing in the middle of the city, on Valentine’s Day, looking lost even though he lived here practically his whole life.

Louis almost laughed. The idea of denying Harry anything was preposterous; it had never even crossed his mind to give up this game of following him along on all the date activities he planned for David.

He reached out and grabbed Harry by the wrist to pull his thumb away from his teeth. He secured the stuffed animal under Harry’s arm and then grabbed his other hand too and held them together, encompassing them with his own. Harry’s hands were cold and so were Louis’, but they warmed up together. He rubbed his thumbs back and forth absentmindedly, and in that moment a sense of understanding surrounded them.

Louis squeezed Harry’s hands before dropping them, confident know that he was too distracted to go back to biting his nails. He shrugged again and gestured forward. “Lead the way.”

The next hour was a rush of getting to the venue, finding their seats, and realizing the play was in French. Neither of them spoke a word of French beyond  _ bonjour _ .

At first, Louis diligently tried to figure out what was going on. He presumed the plot would be difficult to follow even if he understood the language, which he didn’t. At the half-hour mark he gave up all hope and just pretended to know what was happening. He snuck secretive glances at Harry’s face to see if he was just as confused, but Harry was watching the actors and it seemed like he was at least hanging on to some semblance of understanding.

Then, after an hour of Louis having absolutely no idea what was happening, Harry leaned over so close his breath tickled his ear and whispered, “What the  _ fuck _ is going on?”

A giggle escaped Louis before he could filter out the noise and a few people in the row in front of them turned around in their seats just to glare at him. Snobs, all of them. Louis was just about to make a snarky comment when Harry beat him to it.

“Oh, come off it. Like you have any idea what’s happening.”

Louis clamped his hand hard over his mouth to keep himself from bursting into shocked laughter. He felt Harry shift beside him, still tense from the confrontation.

They watched the rest of the next act. When the audience applauded, Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and pulled him down the aisle, both of them clambering over the knees of the other audience members who were baffled by their haste. He had the teddy bear hooked under his arm still so it was quite the sight. It wasn’t until they were finally to the lobby of the playhouse that Louis finally let himself laugh unbridledly.

Harry stood there for a second, staring at Louis before he burst out into laughter too.

“God, that was fucking awful.”

“It was hilarious,” Louis cried, quite literally, wiping away the wetness from the corner of his eyes with his thumbs. “I can’t believe you did that.”

It was true: Harry wasn’t the kind of person to leave halfway through a performance, nor was he likely to tell off a couple of rude strangers. Louis was impressed, and strangely proud of him.

“Those people were awful. And so was that play!”

His indignance made Louis laugh even harder, doubled over since his ribs were sore and his breathing was all out of whack. “Shut up,” Harry huffed, throwing his hands up, but then he made eye contact with Louis and started chuckling too.

“Sorry, sorry-” Louis gasped. “It’s just- it’s so-”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, hugging the stuffed animal to his chest and walking away. As if he would leave Louis here.

Louis ran to catch up and set his hand on Harry’s arm, apologetic but mirthful. “I’m sorry all your plans went to shit.”

“They didn’t go to- Okay, fine, maybe they did. Whatever.”

“Do you wanna go home?”

Harry shrugged and looked down at the bear in his arms, its soft fur and cute face.

And- okay. Louis felt a little bad because Harry put all this effort into planning an elaborate romantic day, and it didn’t work out at all. Not only did he find out his boyfriend was literally  _ married _ , but all the activities he planned went poorly, and would’ve gone poorly no matter who he was with.

“Hey.” Louis stopped him with a hand on his bicep, the silky material of Harry’s blouse beneath the light graze of his fingers. “The night’s still young. Like, we could do something else, if you want.”

He turned his face away and didn’t say anything, a little bit stroppy and pouting. Okay, so Harry could be a bit moody when he was upset. Louis knew that. He also knew how to deal with it.

“Okay, listen. Let’s go back home and change into comfy clothes. Then we’ll do something fun.”

“Like what?”

Louis already had a few ideas. He rocked back on his heels, a grin overtaking his features. Harry was adorable always, but right now especially, with his shimmery pink shirt and his dark curls which he tucked behind his ears to keep the wind from blowing them into his face. Only to some success. His cheeks were red in the wind and his eyes were sharp despite his overall sulkiness.

“It’d ruin the surprise if I told you, don’t you think?”

Harry squinted at him. Louis linked their arms and tugged him in the direction of their home.

 

♡

 

“Lou…”

“Just trust me.”

Harry stood there, his arms hanging limp at his sides. He was still wearing the pink blouse, but his dress pants had been traded for a pair of joggers with reluctance. He was protesting Louis’ quest to take him on an adventure. Supposedly he just wanted to stay home and go to sleep.

“I’m not letting you wallow here all alone, because I’m going out whether you like it or not. You had your half of the day to follow your schedule, and now it’s my turn, yeah? I promise, I  _ promise _ it’ll be fun.”

He was skeptical, obviously. Very skeptical. As someone who always lived by plans and schedules and rules, everything meticulously recorded in his two-year planner using colorful pens, it was difficult for him to let go. Louis knew this. Louis was trying to fix this.

“C’mon, H. When’ve I ever let you down?”

Harry shrugged in defeat, unable to come up with an occasion. He looked silly with the conglomeration of clothes, half comfortable and half dressy. It was unfairly adorable.

Louis tried to control his smugness. “That’s right. It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna have fun. Come on.”

Harry got dressed the rest of the way with utter reluctance. There was no way Louis was going to let him mope about and feel sorry for himself the rest of the day. They’d had fun so far and there was no reason for them to go their separate ways, as much as was possible when they lived in the same apartment and their bedrooms were right next to each other.

So Louis tugged him along on his Valentine’s Day adventure which was really just something he was making up as he went along. Harry didn’t need to know that. In fact, if he knew that, he would’ve flipped out and run back home.

He still carried the bear with him which made Louis smile; it was just ridiculous. Harry was too cute, too lovable. Sometimes being around him made it hard to breathe.

“Valentine’s Day is so overrated,” Louis mused as he dragged Harry around the city, pulling him by the wrist. He was lying, partly at least. Of course he believed it to be one of the most commercialized, not real holidays of the modern world, but that didn’t mean he failed to understand why Harry valued it so much. There was something so idealistic and even utopian about an entire day dedicated to romantic love.

Not that romantic love was the only kind of love that could be celebrated on Valentine’s Day, anyway. When Louis was younger, he would come home from school on February 14th and his mom would greet him with a small gift bag full of chocolates and candy hearts. There was always a card tucked in the bag too, with ridiculous frills and hearts all over it as the inside reaffirmed her love for her son.

“I disagree,” Harry grumbled, pulling Louis back to reality. “Just because you’ve never…” He trailed off, seeming to catch himself before saying something rude.

Louis wasn’t going to let it slide. He felt like Harry had a fair amount of misconceptions about him, even though they’d been friends for years and they knew each other better than anyone else on earth.

“Just because I’ve never what, Harold?”

“You just- Like. I mean. A real relationship?”

Louis felt indignant and he would’ve liked to deny it but it was true. He hadn’t been in a real relationship since high school, and high school relationships hardly counted as real.

“I like being single,” Louis announced, pulling Harry down the sidewalk. They were heading in the direction of Louis’ favorite part of town. It was cold and the wind was biting but they would be inside soon enough.

“Do you actually?” The questions wasn’t hostile; it was curious.

“Yeah, for the most part. It’s fun, it’s liberating, there’s never any stress or pressure.”

“But doesn’t it… I mean, don’t you ever feel lonely?”

“Not really, no.” It was a lie but he didn’t feel like having this conversation while walking in a crowded part of town. It was much more of a late night conversation, preferably after consuming some sort of alcohol. It was not a sober conversation.

Besides, the loneliness he felt in his life had less to do with the fact that he was never in a serious relationship and more to do with the fact that the one person he really wanted was completely oblivious to Louis’ near constant torment. It was fine; everything was fine.

“Here, look.”

Harry squinted at the bright neon sign decorated with colorful cartoon characters.

They finally arrived at the destination Louis had been thinking about. None of this was planned, but now that there were in a good part of town full of things that could entertain them this evening, he knew for certain that they were going to have a lot of fun.

 

♡

 

“Lou!”

“Yes, pet?”

Harry glided over to him, almost crashing into him but somehow managing to stop his momentum before then. His cheeks were rosy from the cold and the exertion. He clung to Louis’ shoulder for stability as they both wobbled on their ice skates. It wouldn’t be the first time tonight they fell down in a heap.

Harry was busy squeezing Louis in a bone-crushing hug even though he clearly had something to say, otherwise he wouldn’t crossed the entire skating rink just to see him. Unless all he wanted was a hug, in which case, Louis wrapped his arms around him too, patting his back.

“What is it, H?”

For the most part, Louis was sober, since he was the one in charge of tonight and he had to make sure they got home safely. But he had offered Harry enough wine throughout the night to get him pleasantly tipsy, to the point where he was loose and relaxed, and, apparently, cuddly.

It was funny because instead of making him clumsy, the slight inebriation actually made him a better ice skater. He had zipped around the rink almost immediately upon arrival, leaving Louis to stare after him in shock. He had been expecting Bambi’s first steps but what he got was a professional figure skater, complete with spins and everything. Kind of. It was more of the bravado of intoxication that gave him the confidence he needed to skate normally.

“‘M just really lucky to have you,” Harry mumbled after a while of them just standing there, off to the side of the rink, as the rest of the world kept on moving and doing whatever else it did when they weren’t paying it any attention. There was a lot of couples skating tonight, given that it was Valentine’s Day. The general mood was cheerful and excited. Warm, despite the cold.

“Why’s that?” Maybe he was phishing for compliments, but whatever.

“You’re so much fun. I had so much fun with you today. Even though all my plans were shit, yours made up for it.”

Louis huffed a laugh because it was easier to make a joke of Harry’s words than to take them seriously. They were still holding each other because if they let go, they would lose their balance.

“Seriously, Lou. Like… If I was with him, we would’ve sat through that entire play, and I just- I dunno. You’re so much more fun. I’ve never had a day like this before.”

_ Every day could be like this, _ Louis thought but didn’t say.  _ If we were together, every day could be like this. _

“Hey, it’s not over yet, we still have things to do.”

“Really?” Harry perked up, looking hopeful.

It was almost 9:30 PM and they had already done a handful of childish but fun activities. They started at the arcade, buying a bunch of tokens and playing any game they found interesting. Harry was so bad at most of them and it was hilarious.

After that, they went to a board game cafe and ate a second meal while playing Cards Against Humanity with two couples on a double date who invited them into their group without a second thought.

It wasn’t until one of them bid them a “fun evening” with a suggestive wink when they were leaving that Louis realized they thought he and Harry were together. Which was the obvious conclusion, since it was just the two of them out on Valentine’s Day. And to be even more fair, Louis knew he sometimes looked over at Harry with the most obvious heart eyes. He couldn’t really blame them for assuming, but it made him blush regardless.

The second meal was because the first, at the fancy restaurant, was not enough to satisfy either of them. Harry had been sheepish when he asked if they could get more food but Louis just grabbed his hand and pulled him to the board game cafe like it had been his plan all along.

So after laughing their asses off during a game of Cards Against Humanity with strangers turned friends, Harry said he wanted hot chocolate. Louis didn’t know of any place that served hot chocolate except for the ice skating rink, so they went ice skating.

Which brought them here. With Harry clinging to him while wobbling on the blades of his skates and telling him how much fun he was having.

“Hot chocolate?” Louis reminded, pulling away.

“Oh! Yeah. Let’s go!” He took off, gliding down the rink to the opening that led to the concession stand. Louis shuffled behind him, still shocked Harry was so good at this.

They drank hot chocolate while overlooking the rink when Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder. His carefully arranged curls, which he tamed especially for today, tickled Louis’ neck. He couldn’t help but notice that Harry smelled really good, like perfume and shampoo and flowers.

“Are you drunk, Harry?” Louis laughed, tentatively sliding his arm over his shoulder because that’s the movement this position called for. He felt the softness of his hoodie and the warmth he radiated despite the cold temperatures of the indoor rink.

“A little,” he admitted, turning his head to the side to meet Louis’ eyes and giggling at Louis’ expression. “Not very.”

“We should get you home, then.”

“I don’t want this day to be over.”

“It isn’t yet. We can hang out at home, you know. We live together, for god’s sake.”

His grin was so wide it seemed to split his face in half. “Alright.” He leant into Louis’ side before leaning away. “Should we return our skates?”

Louis nodded, trying his hardest not to be transfixed. It’s just that Harry was so sweet and so beautiful. He was radiant.

He leant forward and began tying his laces, babbling on about how he wished he had been a figure skater growing up, because then he would be really good right now and he would be able to train for the Olympics. Louis indulged his rambling but caught up when he saw something interesting.

For a second, it didn’t sink in. He saw where Harry was leaning over, bent in half on the bench to take off his skates. Since he was leaning forward, the hem of his hoodie slipped up his spine, exposing the soft skin of his lower back.

“What’s this?” Louis wondered, running his fingers over the slip of pink fabric that peaked out over the waistband of his joggers. He hadn’t meant to touch, but apparently he had no self control and his hands did what they wanted. The fabric was soft and lacey, a pretty rosy color.

“Lou,” Harry breathed, sitting up abruptly. His cheeks turned pink and his eyes were wide.

And- “Oh.” Louis pulled his traitorous hand away. He couldn’t believe he just did that. What the fuck was wrong with him? That was a really weird thing to do.

The worst part was, he wanted to touch again. He wanted to see more.

“They were a surprise for David,” Harry explained, letting a curl fall in front of his face instead of tucking it behind his ear again. He always did that when he was embarrassed, like he was trying to hide behind his hair.

Louis was baffled by the simple idea of Harry in lingerie. It made him dizzy. “Why’re you still wearing them?”

Harry sounded slightly defensive when he said, “I like them. They make me feel good.”

Louis held up his hands in surrender, “No judgement. You do you, man.”

He wasn’t about to debate underwear, of all things. Especially when the persons involved included Harry. Louis was so embarrassed for even pointing them out, jealous that they were meant for David, and confused as to why Harry was still wearing them. Like, he understood, but also… Yeah.

Harry grimaced at him but went back to removing his skates as Louis did the same. They returned them to the worker behind the counter and slipped on their own shoes before leaving.

The walk back home was weird because Harry was still slightly tipsy, which made him especially… clingy. He clung to Louis’ arm, leaning into him and burying his nose into the sleeve of his coat. It was a lot to deal with.

Louis had always loved how physically affectionate Harry was, because it matched his own style of living and it meant that there usually wasn’t any weirdness between them, wasn’t any misunderstanding. Until recently, at least, when Louis couldn’t seem to control his thoughts every time Harry would even just brush against him accidentally. It was stupid. Louis was trying not to let his hopeless, helpless, hapless crush get in the way of their friendship. But lately his attempts at self control had wavered.

“So what d’you wanna do?” Louis asked once they got back to their apartment. He shrugged off his coat and tossed it over the back of the nearest chair, while Harry hung his up neatly and glared at Louis’ haphazard regard for his belongings. Harry was always cleaning up after him but it was never a point of contention between them. Louis kind of felt bad about it.

“Dunno,” Harry shrugged, rearranging their shoes so they were lined up neatly by the door. He stood up again and stared helplessly at Louis, at a loss for whatever their night might have in store. “I’m a bit tired.”

“You wanna go to bed?” It was an honest offer and Louis tried not to let it seep through his voice how much he didn’t want Harry to do that.

“What? No,” he answered quickly, a bit too quickly. Enough to make Louis look at him weirdly. This was all so confusing. “I just mean… Let’s just chill on the couch. Is that okay?”

Louis shrugged, moving into the living room. They never made explicit plans to hang out on the couch together, but apparently tonight was different. Louis felt weird; something was off. He sat down and turned the TV on, flipping through channels as Harry disappeared and then returned with a book in his hands.

It wasn’t uncommon for them to just hang out in the same room doing their own things. They lived together, for fuck’s sake, Louis reasoned. That was a normal thing to do. There was no reason for him to feel so jittery, or  _ nervous _ .

Harry sat down next to him and opened to the page he was on last time. He kept fidgeting, so much so that Louis looked over at him to see if something was wrong.

“What is it?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” He closed his book. “Can I lay on your lap?”

Louis was bewildered. Usually Harry did it without asking, and somehow asking made it seem much more important. “Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks.” He scooched closer and then reclined back so his head was on Louis’ lap, and he held his book above his face to keep reading. Louis went back to watching TV, trying not to think about how close Harry was, and how good it felt to be near him.

Louis wanted to ask how Harry was feeling, after everything that happened yesterday. The emotional turnaround was surprisingly quick and he seemed okay. Which wasn’t a good sign, because who knew what he was feeling on the inside? He couldn’t imagine finding out someone he had been seeing for months was actually married. He couldn’t imagine breaking up with them and then feeling normal only twenty-four hours afterwards.

Harry wasn’t crying anymore, obviously, but he had cried all day yesterday when Louis was away at work. He thought about the flash of panic when he saw Harry and didn’t yet know what was wrong.

He looked down and saw the plastic ring on Harry’s finger.

“Will you play with my hair?”

“Sure,” Louis muttered. Harry was never shy about asking for things like this. He was always sitting on people’s laps, demanding to be cuddled. Louis admired him for it, the way he didn’t find it weird. He was always more than happy to oblige, so he slipped his fingers into Harry’s hair and started playing with it mindlessly. His hair was getting longer again, enough so that Louis could make tiny braids out of the strands.

“Thanks. Feels good.”

“I bet.”

They were quiet for a while as Harry went back to reading and Louis pet his hair. The motion was soothing to both of them, and so was the physical proximity. Before Louis met Harry, he was always a little touch-starved, never having that sort of closeness between friends. It was different now, with him. A definite improvement, even though Louis’ stomach kept flipping nervously at the prospect of being so close to his crush.

After a while, Harry closed the book and hugged it to his chest, closing his eyes.

“What’re you thinking about?” Louis wondered.

All the guesses in the world and sometimes he just couldn’t figure him out. It was a curiosity to hear even a fraction of his thoughts at any given moment.

“Nothing,” he said softly, in a way that meant the opposite. “Just how good your fingers feel. How lucky I am that you put up with me.”

Louis blinked, having not expected that answer. “Put up with you,” he echoed. “As if you’re a burden.”

“I can be.”

“Shut up. You’re not a burden.”

“David thought so.”

“Well David’s a fucking idiot. I can’t believe you were with him for so long. I mean, you’re way out of his league. Like, insanely out of his league. And he was cheating on his wife, for fuck’s sake.” Louis scratched his nails just to see what would happen and Harry visibly shivered.

“I should’ve listened to you.”

“Yeah, probably,” he agreed, biting his lip and thinking about all the times in the beginning of their relationship when Louis told him that David was no good. He had known from the start. Usually Louis tried to stay out of Harry’s business but sometimes he couldn’t help it, his opinions bubbling out of him before he could stop them. He had always disliked David, never understood why Harry was so enamored with him. “Why’d you stay with him for so long, anyway? I know things were kind of falling apart the past few months.”

“Good sex,” Harry muttered, flipping over on his side and curled up, like he was going to fall asleep. “Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“I mean, it was exciting at first ‘cause he’s older, you know. Guess the novelty wore off a bit. He was pretty selfish which was fine at first but there’s only so much I like feeling used. You know?”

Louis didn’t exactly know, but he nodded anyway. Their experiences with fucking were vastly different. Someone selfish, that just sounded awful, like the opposite of what Harry deserved. Louis wanted to tell him this but he didn’t know how.

Harry was so selfless in every aspect of his life, always putting others first, and it was easy for people to take advantage of that. David was one of those people who took advantage of that. But Louis had the idea in his mind that Harry deserved to be spoiled in bed, at the very least. It seemed wrong for him to give and give and give without ever getting anything back.

These were dangerous thoughts to have. Louis suppressed them and continued petting Harry’s hair because that was all he could do for now. He sort of spoiled Harry today, with the flowers and the teddy bear and all the random activities of the evening, but even then, it was only the tip of the iceberg. Harry deserved so much more and just because they weren’t together romantically didn’t mean Louis couldn’t show him a bit of generosity. Why had he been holding back? It seemed obvious now that being his best friend gave him the perfect opportunity to indulge him in any way possible.

“What’re  _ you _ thinking?” Harry asked.

Louis could lie. Easily. Any answer would be fine. Something boring, something stupid, something normal.

He didn’t lie. “I’m a little pissed off, to be honest.”

“Why’s that?”

“No one treats you right.”

“Oh?”

When Louis looked down, he saw the sleepy, smirky smile on Harry’s face. Curious and teasingly smug, just for show. Louis could see right through the bravado. He curled his fingers in his hair. To anyone else, saying things like this would be a stroke to the ego, but Harry was so humble, Louis didn’t feel hesitant about saying it.

“Yeah. All your old boyfriends were shit at it.” It was a bold thing to say but it was true. “I don’t know why you sell yourself short and always end up with bad people, but.”

“Lou…”

“Just saying you deserve better. That’s all.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, I do. Of course I do.”

Harry sat up and Louis’ hand fell from his hair. He turned so he could look at Louis, his eyes worryingly bright, his gaze intense. There was something there, a glint of indiscernible emotion, but even then Louis could tell something wasn’t right.

“Everything okay?” Louis asked, not sure what to do with the way Harry staring at him.

“Yeah, I’m just…” He bit his lip, tracing his eyes over Louis’ face as if assessing something. The scrutiny would’ve made Louis squirm but he was so caught up in the moment, and then the suddenness of Harry’s movement.

It was the kind of thing that Louis didn’t see coming, not in a longshot. There was no way he could prepare himself for any of it.

Before he could even blink, Harry had already pressed their lips together in a bruising, enthusiastic kiss.

A handful of things happened at once. For one, Louis was stunned enough to let his mouth fall open. This was the wrong move to make because it allowed Harry to press his tongue inside. Meanwhile a constant stream of  _ what the fuck? _ swirled around Louis’ mind. In addition, Harry hooked his hands onto Louis’ shoulders and clambered onto his lap, never detaching their lips. Apparently Louis’ acquiescence was enough to give Harry the permission to do this.

If Louis was a better man he might’ve considered pushing Harry away and asking him what the fuck he was doing. As it was, he stayed rigid and still for a minute, which was as long as it took for his self-control to remain in tact. Then his body relaxed and he sunk into the kiss, giving in to Harry’s demands.

It was a good kiss. Unfairly so. It was everything Louis had imagined during the eons of thirsting after Harry, and even better in a lot of ways. Like how Harry’s long fingers were curled around his shoulders, holding him tightly. Or how he smelled like perfume and the flowers from earlier. Or how he licked into Louis’ mouth with intent and even nibbled at his lip after a bit of time had passed.

Meanwhile Louis’ insides were a mess of butterflies, his stomach doing somersaults of pleasure and confusion and a whole other mix of feelings that he didn’t care to sort through. It was so easy to get lost in it, in the moment of being together. Letting Harry kiss him was easier than anything else. It felt right. He had no idea why it was happening but like hell he was going to let a moment like this slip away.

Harry was kissing him. Harry was sitting on his lap. Harry was holding onto his shoulders like he was afraid to let go.

Louis relaxed a little more, setting his hands on Harry’s upper back to hold him too, and then letting them trail down his sides before resting on his waist. It was more a habit than anything, his years of kissing experience accumulating to one moment. He let himself react like he would to any kiss this good, giving as good as he was getting. It was sloppy and wet with spit but Harry didn’t seem to care.

It wasn’t until Louis’ hand slipped down to squeeze his bottom that what was happening finally sunk in. Harry was kissing him. His best friend, the one who broke up with his boyfriend yesterday.  _ Harry _ .

“Fuck,” Louis groaned, yanking his head back enough to detach their lips, though a line of spit held the connection. He squeezed his eyes shut tight to regroup, and when he reopened them he saw Harry covering his face in his hands. “Harry…”

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Louis wanted to wrap his fingers around his wrists to pull his hands away from his face, to see his expression, to understand what he was thinking. What was going on inside that crazy head of his?

“It’s okay,” he ended up saying softly, setting his hand on his thigh as a form of physical reassurance. He was bewildered by all that just happened but it was clear Harry wasn’t in the right mindset to be making rational decisions. He had acted on impulse, that was all it was. “It’s okay, H, really. I don’t mind. Just- I’m so confused.”

Harry pulled his hands away and his eyes were shining in the dim lighting, on the verge of tears. “I should- Fuck. I should go.”

“What?”  _ Go where? _ Louis grabbed the front of his hoodie to stop him from leaving. It was an act of desperation but he wasn’t about to let Harry disappear and pretend like that hadn’t just happened.

“Fuck, I’m really really sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I really shouldn’t have done that.” He started hyperventilating, gasping for air though it seemed to not be enough.

“Hey, it’s okay,,” Louis worried, nudging him over so he was sitting beside him, curling in on himself. “Seriously, everything’s okay, just calm down.”

He coached him through it, keeping a supportive hand on his shoulder and talking him through each breath. Tears slipped down Harry’s face even though he kept the heel of his palms pressed to his eyes the entire time. The bewilderment of seeing his best friend freak out was almost equal to the bewilderment from the kiss itself.

“Harry…” Louis began, once Harry had calmed down enough to breathe normally again. He kept his tone gentle because he was afraid of making the situation worse. “Will you tell me what’s going on?”

Harry made a noncommittal noise, grabbing one of the decorative pillows on the couch and smashing his face in it to muffle a scream.

Louis gave him a moment and then asked him again, even gentler this time. “What’s wrong, H?”

“I’m sorry,” Harry moaned, face still pressed to the pillow. “That was really impulsive of me… I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why’re you crying, then?”

“I’m so embarrassed…”

“Don’t be. It’s okay. I know you’re going through a lot right now. Just…”  _ Why did you kiss me? _ He wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. He was probably just overcome with emotion and confused as to what to do about it, seeking comfort in physical touch or something stupid like that.

“I’m just really confused,” Harry admitted quietly. With his knees pulled to his chest and his face in the pillow he looked small. “I think there’s something I should tell you.”

“What is it?”

“I… I don’t know if I can say it. I’m scared.”

Louis was helplessly lost. “Scared of what?”

“I don’t want you to hate me…”

“I could never hate you,” Louis refuted, completely out of reflex. It was true, nonetheless. Harry had to have know that. “Why would I hate you?”

“Because this might ruin our friendship.”

“What?”

Harry groaned and flopped backwards on the couch, still covering his face. He screamed into the pillow again and kicked his legs half-heartedly before going lax. “I have a crush on you, and I know that’s not like- I know you don’t feel the same way so I don’t want to make it weird but I just couldn’t keep it from you anymore. Sorry. Sorry for kissing you and making it weird.”

Louis’ brain short-circuited. There was a heavy pause full of silence. “Wait, what?”

Harry sat up and pulled the pillow from his face finally, but still wouldn’t look at him. “I’m so embarrassed. I’m gonna go die in a hole now.” He started to stand up but Louis grabbed his hoodie again.

“Wait, Harry-  _ You  _ have a crush on  _ me _ ? What the fuck?”

“I know, okay? I know you’re way out of my league and it’s laughable that we would ever be together. You don’t have to tell me. I just wanted you to know because kissing you was a really stupid thing to do and I owed you an explanation. Please let me go and let’s never talk about this ever again.”

Louis tightened his grip because it was the only thing he could think to do. He opened his mouth but no words would come out.

“Lou, please let me go.”

“No, Harry, I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just forget it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Lou…”

_ Wait a second, _ Louis thought to himself. Things weren’t adding up. He held on even tighter, the gears turning. “No, really, Harry. What do you mean I’m out of your league? What do you mean you have a crush on me?”

“I mean exactly what I said,” Harry whined, pulling away. “Please don’t make me explain it. It’s humiliating.”

“How could you, I mean, how is it possible that you have a crush on me? When you were dating David?”  _ I’m the one who has a crush on you, _ Louis thought futilely. _ Me, not you. _

“I liked you before then, obviously.”

Louis’ brows furrowed. “But before then you were dating Tom.”

Harry shifted, looking uncomfortable. “I liked you then too.”

“Then why were you dating Tom? And then David?”

“To, uh, get over my crush. On you. Which obviously didn’t work.”

_ What the fuck? _ Louis thought. He said it out loud too. “What the fuck? In what world does that make sense?”

“I don’t know! I have to do something, alright? I can’t just obsess over you all the time when there’s no chance of you ever reciprocating. The obvious choice is just to date other people and hopefully find someone I like. I’d really rather not spend my life forever alone just because I have a huge crush one someone who will never like me back.”

“Uhh…” Louis wasn’t sure how to break the news to him. “Uh, Harry?”

“What?” he snapped, obviously fed up with the way Louis kept pressing the topic.

“I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t ever reciprocate it, because I’m, like, in love with you.”

“Huh?”

Louis nodded.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Harry said slowly. “That’s kind of really shitty of you, to say that just to make me feel better. To just throw that word around so willy nilly.”

“Harry, what the fuck? I’m not- I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this just to make you feel better. I’m being honest with you. I like you. A lot. And I’m so confused right now. What in the world made you think I could never like you?”

He folded his arms over his chest, defensive and insecure. “You always talk about how we’re such good friends, which, I got the first few times you said it. You didn’t have to keep saying it.”

“What? That’s not true. You’re the one who’s always talking about how we’re such good friends!”

Harry huffed. “Yeah, only to remind myself that you don’t like me like I like you and we’ll never be anything more! And besides, you’re always hooking up with all these amazing guys. It doesn’t take a genius to tell you’d never be interested in me.”

“That literally makes no sense,” Louis argued, standing up and waving his hands in frustration. “I only hook up with people because you’re constantly in a relationship with someone so I never even had a chance! One boyfriend to the other, never any time in between. You’re literally never single for more than two weeks—that’s hardly enough time to make a move!”

Harry fish-mouthed at him and then pressed his lips together, forming a tight line.

“I can’t believe you,” Louis muttered. “Saying you have a crush on me. There’s no way.”

“I’m telling the truth…”

Louis rubbed at his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I just don’t get how you could like me but also be in a long-term, committed relationship.”

Harry glared at him, seeming very annoyed. “I was trying to get over my feelings for you. Which obviously didn’t work.”

Louis snapped his mouth shut, and then said a very quiet, “Oh.” Harry’s reasoning wasn’t the most logical, but he supposed it was sort of in the same vein of what he was doing with all his mindless hookups to distract himself from how much he liked Harry. They just had two different ways of going about getting over each other, that weren’t actually that dissimilar when compared.

Harry had never been one for mindless hookups, anyways. That was part of the reason why he almost always had a boyfriend; he got too attached to people too soon. Or so Louis thought.

“Harry..?”

“What?”

“Do you understand what’s happening, then?”

“What do you mean?”

“We both just confessed our feelings for one another.”

“Oh.”

A warm feeling settled in Louis’ chest as he met Harry’s gaze and there was something heavy between them, a good kind of heavy, full of desire. Mutual desire.

Since everything was already out in the open, it didn’t hurt for him to be honest. Louis decided to go for it, and say what he was thinking. Harry deserved to know. “Yeah. So… Just to be clear I want you to know I’ve liked you for a long time, and as confused as I am about what you just told me, it also makes me very happy, so.”

“Same. About all of that. I mean, like, liking you for a while. Ever since we first met. It’s been rough.” The corners of his lips quirked and then he was smiling, that big gooey smile that showcased his dimples. The smile that made Louis melt.

“Yeah, it has,” Louis agreed, laughing a little at how ridiculous the past twenty-four hours had been. God, he and Harry were so stupid. They had been best friends for years, crushing on each other but completely oblivious to each other’s pining.

“Sorry for sort of yelling at you. And arguing with you. And ruining today.”

“Harry. You just told me we could possibly have a chance together. How would that ever ruin my day?”

“Honestly?”

Louis rolled his eyes, exasperated. “C’mere, you big idiot.”

“Heeey,” Harry frowned, on the verge of pouting. Louis pulled him into a hug anyways, squeezing him tightly. The physical contact sent shivers down his spine even though it was just an innocent hug. He snuggled closer to the warmth of Harry’s body, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and breathing in the scent of his skin, perfumed and sweet.

“We’re both idiots,” Louis corrected, his voice muffled by the way his mouth was pressed directly against Harry’s neck. Each word brushed his lips against his skin. “We should probably go to sleep before things get even weirder. We both have some things to think about.”

Harry sighed. “You’re right.”

Neither of them made any move to detach themselves from each other. Harry hunched forward and set his chin on Louis’ shoulder, squeezing him tighter. Louis responded to the movement by rubbing his back and smiling into his neck. Warmth was seeping from Harry’s body to Louis’ and it felt amazing and comforting. It was more than he could ever ask for, just to be close like this.

“I hope you had a good day?”

“Very,” Harry agreed, going with the movement as Louis rocked them back and forth. “Probably the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had. Even though I didn’t fuck anyone.”

“There’s still time to fix that,” Louis laughed. His mind immediately went to the image of bright pink lace peeking out above the waistband of his joggers earlier.

“Shut up. Don’t even joke about that.”

“Hey, you brought it up.” But in his mind he was thinking, _ I would do anything you asked of me, no matter what. _ The thought wasn’t as scary as it should’ve been.

“Whatever. But seriously Lou, thank you.”

“No need to thank me. I had fun too.”

“But I mean, for everything. For all of it. Like, yesterday when you came home… and bringing me to the diner with Niall, and everything today with the teddy bear and the roses and all the things that were actually fun unlike my own plans… It means a lot. You always take such good care of me and maybe that’s one of the reasons why I like you so much, I guess.”

“You deserve it,” Louis said fiercely, and Harry held him a little tighter. “You always deserve someone to treat you right.” With that, he finally disentangled himself, even though he didn’t exactly want to. It was getting really late and the previous conversation had happened so quickly, it hadn’t even fully sunk in yet. He wasn’t sure where they were supposed to go from here and he was still feeling kind of insecure and doubting the fact that Harry reciprocated at least some of his feelings.

“I guess I should go to bed. We’ll talk about this tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Then, because Louis had no self-control, he grabbed Harry’s hand before he could think better of it and brought it to his lips, kissing his knuckles. He let go quickly, shocked by his own boldness, but didn’t miss the way Harry’s cheeks pinkened and he stuttered a reply that wasn’t a sentence comprised of real words so much as a conglomeration of sounds. Clearly, he was just as overwhelmed as Louis was. It was adorable.

“Um, alright,” Harry squeaked, taking a step towards the hall and stumbling over his own feet. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“Good night,” Louis bid, vaguely wondering when the two of them had become so awkward, as he watched Harry shoot him a jittery smile and practically run down the hall to his bedroom.

He stood there for a second, completely dazed. When he snapped out of it and realized he had been staring at the empty hallway for way too long to be normal, he shook his head at himself and went to get ready for bed.

Louis had never dealt with nervous butterflies in his stomach like this before. He was usually the confident, composed one, wooing the other guy. But surprise, surprise, with Harry he melted into a useless puddle of goo, all sense of bravado gone.

The entire day had been hectic and he was still processing it all, but there was something fluttering in his chest—a warm feeling that originated in his heart and spread throughout his entire body, tingling pleasantly. He had no idea what tomorrow would be like, but he was hopeful.

 

♡

 

The next day was like one Louis had never experienced before. It started by waking up before the sunrise and being unable to fall back asleep, no matter how hard he tried. So he went to the kitchen to make tea and he found Harry there, looking disheveled and already pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“You’re up early,” Louis observed.

Apparently Harry hadn’t known he was there, so he was startled enough to flinch and spill hot coffee on his hand. He cursed, waving his injured hand in the air while holding the other over his chest.

Louis apologized profusely and dragged him over to the sink to run his reddened skin under cold water. They stood there in front of the sink with the faucet running until their racing hearts finally calmed down.

“I’m so sorry-”

Harry shook his head, his shoulders relaxing as he slumped down from his rigid state. They were standing so close together, front to back, so the movement made Harry lean against Louis’ chest. Normally Louis would’ve moved away and put some distance between them, but today he didn’t.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Harry asked.

Louis bit the inside of his cheek, wondering how much he should give away without scaring Harry or intimidating him with how much their conversation last night meant to him. How was he supposed to say he could hardly sleep all night because his mind was running a mile a minute, trying to figure out what all of this meant? In the end, all he said was, “Nah, not really.”

“Same,” Harry admitted. “I was kind of overwhelmed.”

“Me too.” Louis hooked his chin over Harry’s shoulder because he could. It felt so good to be close to him, to feel the warmth from his body warming Louis’ own. Harry was always softer during the day’s periphery, wearing comfy clothes and generally being more receptive to touch. Not that he wasn’t tactile during the day too, but it was on a whole new level during early mornings and late nights.

“Do you have to work today?”

“No. You?”

“I called in sick already.”

“Wow, look at you, you little rule-breaker. Playing hooky,” Louis smirked into Harry’s shoulder, feeling a vague sense of pride for him misbehaving for once in his life.

“Shut up. I just wanted a day in.”

“Fair. Cereal and bad Lifetime movies, then?”

“Please.”

Louis let go of him finally, even though he didn’t want to. “How about you go get comfortable on the couch and everything? I have to go to the store real quick. I’ll be back in like twenty minutes.”

“For what?”

“It’s a secret,” Louis grinned, pushing him towards the couch. There was an unfamiliar charged energy between them since they had both admitted to what Louis interpreted as reciprocated feelings. He couldn’t be sure, because they hadn’t discussed anything yet, and he was still pretty confused—but there was a definite energy between them that wasn’t there before. He knew Harry could feel it too.

“You suck.” But Harry let him push him towards the couch anyways, not resisting too much.

“Don’t miss me too much,” Louis teased before leaving. He had a game plan and he was going to give Harry the best lazy day he’d ever experienced.

The store he went to was just down the street on the corner. It was open twenty-four hours which was convenient because nothing else was open at this god-forsaken hour. The fluorescent lights inside assaulted his eyes, as did the leftover Valentine’s Day displays. It was an explosion of pink and red commercialized hearts everywhere.

Five minutes later he had a shopping basket full of discounted items. The cashier didn’t even bat a lash as she scanned everything and wished him a good day.

The whole trip only lasted twenty minutes at maximum. By the time he got back to the apartment, he was much more awake and the sun was finally starting to rise, casting golden light over the world. He stepped into the living room to find Harry lounging on the couch, wrapped up in a mountain of blankets and watching the TV with unwavering attention.

“What’d you buy me?” he asked without looking over at him.

Louis answered by throwing a handful of candy at him, most of it hitting him square in the chest.

Harry made a squawk of indignance before he realized what it was, to which he gasped. “You got me dark chocolate Kit Kats?”

“Yes, you dork.” Louis hated dark chocolate but Harry loved it, and he was always ranting about how dark chocolate Kit Kats were a limited-time-only occurrence, which meant most stores rarely sold them.

“You’re amazing.” Harry threw the blankets back and got up to his feet, crossing the room to give Louis a hug of gratitude. “Thank you.”

Louis’ subsequent laugh was muffled by the material of Harry’s t-shirt because he was squeezing him so tightly.

It was kind of funny how they were going about things as if everything was normal, despite their confessions last night. They sat down on the couch together and Harry was kind enough to share the blankets with him.

“Will you judge me if I eat candy before breakfast?”

Louis rolled his eyes and picked up at Kit Kat just to throw it at Harry again. “I got these specifically for you to eat them.”

“Alright, alright. What else did you get?”

He showed him the bag, full of discounted chocolates of all the classic types Reese’s, Twix, Hershey’s, m&m’s, and a bunch of other things like Almond Joy because Harry was obsessed with those too, despite how much they disgusted Louis. There was no reason for chocolate to be contaminated by coconut and  _ almonds _ , of all things. It was just horrible.

“Oh my god, you’re amazing. And you even got those little hearts with cheesy messages on them!”

Louis rolled his eyes again at Harry’s antics, too endeared by him for it to make any difference. Inside, he felt placated by the fact that he had made Harry happy, even if it was over something stupid like candy. “They’re called conversation hearts,” he corrected, just to be an asshole.

“I have something for you, too, actually. Kind of. In the bag on the table.”

Interesting. Louis had been wondering about that bag.

As he peered into it curiously, Harry explained that it was originally part of his gift to David but now that they were no longer a thing anymore, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it since he didn’t feel like returning any of the various items.

“You can have whatever you want from there. I just can’t stand to look at it anymore.”

“Alright,” Louis agreed, rifling through the bag. He sifted through various bottles of expensive lotions and fancy perfumes. There was a box of heart-shaped chocolates, among a bunch of other random things Louis could see as a great Valentine’s gift. Harry really had thought of it all.

When his fingers hit something soft, his face slipped into a grin and he pulled it out just because he wasn’t going to let this opportunity slide.

“You’re really going to let these go to waste?” he teased, holding up the red silk fabric which was more intricate than he anticipated. There were lots of ribbons to it and Louis realized the idea was to tie it in a bow, so the wearer could be unwrapped like a present. He started laughing because it was kind of ridiculous and it took his mind off the mental image of Harry wearing it.

Harry flipped him off and grabbed the lingerie from his hands, clutching it to his chest and muttering something about how he forgot he left it in the bag.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make fun of you.”

“Damn right, you shouldn’t.”

It was the second occurence in a very short time span where Louis was reminded of Harry’s bedroom activities, which included dressing up in pretty lingerie for his partner. Well, not just for his partner, because it was clear Harry liked it too, obviously, and that made Louis melt a little inside.

They spent the day on the couch, eating Valentine’s Day themed chocolate and getting way too drawn into poorly-crafted Lifetime movies. They couldn’t eat all the chocolate without getting sick so Harry got up at one point to make omelets, which were so good Louis nearly died.

It wasn’t until the afternoon, when Harry had his legs draped over Louis’ lap and Louis was massaging his feet that they finally talked about it. Harry was the one to bring it up, boldly, even though there was a wavering hint of insecurity in his voice.

He explained everything, after Louis pushed him a little by reminding him that his feelings were reciprocated and there was nothing to worry about. They had already let it spill last night so the hard part was over.

Harry rubbed at his face before diving into the story, explaining how he’d had a crush on Louis for “eons” and thought Louis was so out of his league it wasn’t even worth it to try (“That’s ridiculous, Harry, what the fuck?”) which didn’t actually make sense, but Harry was one of those people who wasn’t aware of how amazing he really was.

Apparently he dated other people for the sake of getting over Louis. “Which obviously didn’t work,” Harry remarked, frowning.

Louis figured they kind of did the same thing, just in different manifestations, with the way Harry dated people and Louis hooked up with people, both with the intentions of surmounting their crushes on each other. Harry had always been the one who was in love with commitment and relationships in general so it made sense for him to be the one who constantly had a boyfriend. Not that Louis wasn’t a fan of those things too, but he felt less of a need to be constantly in a relationship.

When Harry had finished his side of the story, he prodded Louis’ side with his toes and said, “Your turn.”

It wasn’t as hard for Louis to say it all out loud as he thought it was going to be, especially since Harry had already gone and broken the ice. Besides, it made Harry squirm when Louis talked about how attractive he found him ever since they first met, and how hopelessly enamored he was right away. It was fun to make him blush, to see how much he could affect him.

The conversation ended when Harry, who was still lying laterally on the couch, tugged Louis down to him and attacked his lips in an insistent kiss. It wasn’t as weird to kiss his best friend as it should’ve been. Instead, it felt normal. Comfortable. That was how Louis knew they should’ve been doing this all along. Years ago.

They kind of got lost in it, and given their position which included Louis lying on top of Harry, there was really no way to escape the press of their bodies together. They explored for a long time but there was a silent consensus between them to not take it any further than kissing, given the circumstances. Harry had just broken up with his boyfriend two days ago, after all.

“I can’t believe this didn’t happen sooner.” Those were the first words Harry said upon both of them breaking away to catch their breath.

Louis rested his cheek against Harry’s and closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness. “It wasn’t meant to be. There were things we had to do first before we could be with each other. Things we had to learn.”

“So romantic.”

“Shut up,” Louis grumbled. He kissed his cheek anyways because he couldn’t help it.

They stayed like that, with Louis lying on top of him, snuggling into his chest as they watched another handful of overly dramatic, guilty-pleasure movies. Harry had his arms hooked around Louis’ waist, and the blankets were wrapped around them both, and it just felt so warm and safe that Louis couldn’t help but close his eyes and relax deeper into his hold. Louis glanced down at his hand, entangled with Harry's, and saw the blue plastic ring still on Harry's pinkie right beside Harry's ring still on Louis' finger. It was stupid but it made him smile.

Reality faded in and out of dreams as he doze, completely content with everything that had developed in the past few days. He could feel the steady thud of Harry’s heart beneath him, and the swell of his chest every time he breathed in. The rhythm was calming, as were Harry’s fingers stroking his hair.

The coffee table in front of them was riddled with a handful of conversation hearts that had spilled out of the bag. Further away, on the mantle, the shiny letters that spelled  _ Happy Valentine’s Day _ shimmered in the fading sunlight. The last thought Louis had before falling asleep was that he had never been happier.

 

♡

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and tell me what you think! The best part of posting a fic is hearing which parts y'all liked and didn't like <3
> 
>  
> 
> [find me on tumblr](http://angelichl.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [reblog the fic post](http://angelichl.tumblr.com/post/182717319139/brave-love-by-angelichl-17k-harry-breaks-up-with)
> 
> thanks for reading ily <3


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